


Afterspark Podcast: G1 Episode 39: The God Gambit

by specspectacle, Twilight-Owls (LadyTorix)



Series: Afterspark Podcast: Transformers G1 [40]
Category: The Transformers (Cartoon Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One
Genre: Don't copy to another site, Embedded Video, Episode Commentary, Episode Review, Podcast, Podfic, Podfic & Podficced Works, Podfic Length: 10-20 Minutes, Swearing, Video, YouTube, transcript
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:55:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27300811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/specspectacle/pseuds/specspectacle, https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyTorix/pseuds/Twilight-Owls
Summary: Bow down to your new god!  Astrotrain!?!
Series: Afterspark Podcast: Transformers G1 [40]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1220114
Kudos: 1





	Afterspark Podcast: G1 Episode 39: The God Gambit

**Author's Note:**

> As always, if you need an audio only version of the podcast please check out the links at the end of the transcript.

[Stinger]

S: I didn't say it was calming. It's just, like, whale noises didn't work. 

O: [Laughter]

[Intro Music] 

O: Hello and welcome to the Afterspark Podcast, an episode by episode recap of the Generation 1 Transformers cartoon. I'm Owls.

S: And I'm Specs.

O: And today we're going to be talking about episode number 39: The God Gambit. Let's talk about giant robots today, shall we?

S: Yep.

O: And today IN SPACE!!!

S: Aliens. Multicolored aliens, even. 

O: One group of aliens seems to be controlling a giant idol- I mean, a god??? 

S: It looks pretty rocky. The high priest yells at a twink as other not priest-like aliens offer their harvest offerings to the so-called god.

O: We see a stylishly dressed pink lady running around behind the scenes, spying on the shenanigans before she and her diverse cadre destroy the giant stone god.

S: Apparently to join this group you must be either: a woman or ‘mustache’ some extremely fancy facial hair.

O: Those aliens had magnificent mustaches.

S: Yes, yes they did. The pink lady yells at the high priest for being a dick.

O: I like her already but then again I like most women who look like they can yeet me into the sun.

S: Oh, and she very much looks like she could do that to like everyone she comes across.

O: Pretty much. Probably not the giant robots but that's a sheer size thing not because I don't believe in her power.

S: Yep. You know, I almost like the high priest’s ceremonial robes but he apparently likes the breeze because there's very little leg coverage.

O: It is all business at the top and party on the bottom. 

S: The high priest, whose name is Jero, rants about punishment from ‘sky gods’ to Talaria who is our badass pink lady.

O: But Talaria tells him, “There are no ‘sky gods’!” Oh my, I wonder how giant transforming robots from the sky are going to come into this?

S: Hint, hint. Now about those giant robots.

O: Cosmos is flying around in space, running away from Decepticons, evading laser beams. He calls the Ark.

S: No one's manning the computer- no, wait, they run in from screen left.

O: I really do think they would just have somebody who would stay there and keep an eye on things but no. Prime, Jazz, Perceptor, and Red Alert all run in and answer his coms.

S: We see Astrotrain is the one pursuing Cosmos.

O: Oh! A carryover from the last episode, perhaps? 

S: That would be a very rare instance of inter-episode continuity.

O: Probably not that, then.

S: Apparently the Cons are trying to get data from Cosmos, so Prime tells them to transmit the data but Red Alert stops them. 

O: Red Alert is the only one here considering cyber security.

S: Well, very fitting considering his job.

O: Makes sense. Thrust and Starscream are sitting shotgun in Astrotrain and overhear the Autobots’ transmissions.

S: Immediately proving Red Alerts fears absolutely correct because apparently Astrotrain can just tune in onto the Autobot comm signal with, uh, no problem whatsoever. And Thrust either cares about his comrade's well-being or has a healthy dose of self-preservation as he expresses some concern about Astrotrains’ dwindling energy levels. But Astrotrain says ‘fuck that’ and continues to shoot after Cosmos.

O: You know, considering Ramjet in the previous episode, are the Coneheads just a lot nicer than I gave them credit for?

S: Maybe? Maybe, maybe. Astrotrain manages to hit Cosmos and poor Cosmos bounces off an asteroid before hitting the planet that was in our episode opening. 

O: So, turns out that isn't a planet- it's one of Saturn's moons: Titan! Courtesy of the TFWiki, it seems like, uh, Titan having life on it wasn't too far out during the time frame [the episode was made in] considering it has a substantial atmosphere and it became somewhat prevalent in popular culture due to the Voyager spacecraft sending back a decent amount of data on it a few years earlier.

S: Fascinating!

O: The more you know. 

S: A bunch of aliens are sitting around outside as Talaria espouses that the ‘sky gods’ aren't real.

O: The high priests are all tied up, too, so she's clearly gotten shit done in the meantime.

S: Yep and in an unfortunate coincidence Talaria points at the sky and says, “Show me a ‘sky god,’” just as Cosmos is, ah, crash landing.

O: Jero's a dick about this, of course.

S: He knows when to take his opportunities with both hands and run with them. We cut to the Decepticons landing in front of the giant temple containing the idol from before. 

O: Starscream claps his hands together and goes, “Here's the church, here's the steeple, open the door, where's all the people?” Where the fuck did he learn this and why?? 

S: Oh, obviously they learned at the same time that they learned what a guinea pig was.

O: I love how proud of himself he looks here, too. I also feel like this lends credence to our toss away comment about Starscream actually making an attempt to learn something about Earth culture, which is super weird. 

S: It's Starscream, man.

O: He does what he wants.

S: Yup-

O: Which includes learning children's nursery rhymes or whatever the hell you want to call that.

S: Astrotrain tells Starscream to stop ranting.

O: Thrust points to the smoke in the distance as to where the people probably are.

S: Or where Cosmos might be, at least. 

O: The high priest who has been untied, of course, he proclaims: “Behold! A sky god!” over Cosmos' prone body.

S: This man is going to take what he's given and run with it. A true con artist. 

O: The other aliens, aside from Talaria, fall down in worship. 

S: She must be so done with everything.

O: I would be so done with everything. 

S: Astrotrain’s like, “Hey, they worship Transformers! I'll just tell them I'm in charge.” 

O: Starscream, unsurprisingly, does not like this plan.

S: He wants to be the boss.

O: Starscream never gets to be the boss.

S: Well, he always declares himself the boss and then he gets demoted right, like, immediately. 

O: This is why you should stop saying you're the boss while Megatron is still  _ alive. _

S: Yep. Astrotrain promptly goes for strangulation and then Starscream is just, like, “Okay, okay.”

O: That that'll usually do’er. Uh, Jero tells Talaria to bow down just as Astrotrain drives through the trees in train mode.

S: Choo-choo-cachoo?

O: Astrotrain then transforms and proclaims himself as the mightiest of the gods. 

S: Astrotrain has the other two carry Cosmos into the temple saying, “Prop up that hunk of junk over there.” 

O: Why does Cosmos just keep getting regulated to junk?

S: Because he's small, round, and full of love.

O: All the things Astrotrain hates. 

S: Yeah, Starscream whines about, “Why do they have to listen to Astrotrain?”

O: To which Thrust replies, “Because he'll vaporize us if we don't.” I'm serious, I'm really loving the Coneheads on this watch through. They're way more competent than I gave them credit for.

S: Yeah, well they care about not dying.

O: Which, honestly, counts for a lot in the show. 

S: Yeah, yeah. Astrotrain props Cosmos up as an idol for the people to worship and grabs the energy data off of him. 

O: He then sits there and talks really loudly about how if Cosmos could only reconnect one wire he'd be able to call for help. Thankfully, Talaria overhears this. 

S: Thrust points out that Astrotrain burned up most of his fuel chasing Cosmos and they had better call Megatron, you know, for help.

O: Astrotrain’s, like, “No! Not until I crack Cosmos's code!”

S: ‘I want to be king of this mud ball!’

O: Uh, he's going to be king of something. They walk off and Talaria does the smart thing and reconnects Cosmos's wire, allowing Optimus to communicate with her and activate Cosmos's signal beacon so, basically, the Autobots can find him.

S: Starscream shoots at her and then we cut to a commercial.

O: Starscream misses and, thankfully, Cosmos wakes up and shoots him, allowing Talaria to escape.

S: Astrotrain then shoots Cosmos and poor Cosmos collapses again.

O: He's taken a lot of abuse in this episode. On Earth, Perceptor and Jazz volunteer to go with Omega Supreme to save Cosmos. 

S: Unfortunately, once they get there Omega will not be able to transform and help them.

O: By- due to lack of energy, basically, he's not going to have enough energy to get there and back.

S: Mm-hmm. And back on the alien planet [Titan] Jero leads the Cons to the fire god's lair.

O: Which consists of giant ass crystals that are apparently full of energy. Like most giant crystal things in this show. 

S: One of Jero's followers is like, “Aaah! This is taboo,” Jero's like, “God's gonna do what a god's gonna do, who cares about your taboos?”

O: And Astrotrain wants energy.

S: Yep, never mind that it's the sort of energy that makes things go boom.

O: Hey, I mean, they are what they are. They are a chaotic explosive uh, faction. The Autobots arrive just as Omega runs out of energy and they crash land. 

S: They decide that they need Cosmos to move the poor crash-landed Omega and Jazz tells him to, “not move,” and Omega replies, “Sarcasm not appreciated.”

O: [laughter] Be careful there, buddy, you're making a joke and after the other two walk off the cliff they were on partially collapses leaving Omega balanced precariously on just the teeniest, tiniest bit of rock.

S: “Situation critical.” And frankly, Mr. Omega, that is an understatement. 

O: Yes, it is. In the cave, the Cons are now forcing the aliens to harvest the giant crystals for them.

S: Starscream confirms that they are quite unstable. 

O: Yeah but- I'm shocked, shocked to tell you, shocked.

S: Jazz and Perceptor are walking around outside when Talaria shoots arrows at them and then Jazz asks her to, “Hey, calm down,” and Talaria leads them to Cosmos-

O: While riding-

S: With a bit of explanation.

O: While riding on Jazz's shoulder, no less.

S: She has the best seat in the house.

O: She does, Jazz is a delight.

S: The Cons walk in on Jazz and Perceptor seeing to Cosmos and cue a firefight with a bunch of explosive crystals.

O: Like a sane person, Thrust wants backup.

S: Yep, but Starscream tells him to stand and fight because if Thrust doesn't then Starscream doesn't have anyone to stand behind.

O: Pretty much and it's Porche and rock versus warplane, as Jazz chucks the rock at Starscream, making him fall to the ground. 

S: [Sighs] Starscream yells for help but Thrust runs out and tells Astrotrain.

O: Astrotrain then has does the humans [aliens] shoot crystals at Jazz.

S: They've got them on the ends of, um, arrows. They're using them as arrowheads, I think. The aliens pull out a catapult and begin shooting huge chunks of crystals at Jazz and Perceptor, blasting them into a crevice.

O: Astrotrain captures Talaria and we cut to another commercial, you know, because a woman is in mortal peril and if we have an episode with a woman this is required.

S: We need all that  _ suspense. _ Thrust, again, calls for common sense as he and Starscream fly over looking for the Autobots but Starscream laughs this off.

O: Naturally, Jazz and Perceptor are fine.

S: Back with the aliens, Astrotrain and Jero continue to be dicks. 

O: And then back to Jazz and Perceptor, because we can't focus for more than three seconds in this episode.

S: They don't have time to have to do all of this stuff in 23 minutes.

O: Of course. The two enter the cave with all the crystals. Perceptor examines them and realizes they're unstable crystallized energy. Jazz then bangs on one with a rock for some reason.

S: I think he might want a sample? 

O: Well, thankfully, Perceptor stops him before any explosions can happen.

S: Yeah. Meanwhile some of the natives are realizing their religion is a lie and confront Jazz.

O: Jazz is like, “We ain’t gods!” 

S: The aliens inform them that Talaria is about to be sacrificed so off Jazz goes to save her and he tells Perceptor to go refuel Omega with the crystals.

O: Which apparently don't need to be refined or anything.

S: Yeah, we just see Perceptor running through the forest with a bag of crystals.

O: Where did he even get a bag? 

S: Subspace? Maybe the aliens had something that he borrowed?

O: Maybe.

S: The natives- he finds Omega in his precarious situation and Perceptor tries to reach him by Indiana Jones-ing some shit. 

O: Back in the temple, Talaria is being tied up just as Jazz pops out of the floor.

S: The inexplicable hole in the middle of the floor leading down to the pit of  _ doom. _

O: You know, normal temple stuff in an 80’s cartoon.

S: Elsewhere, Perceptor is quickly shoving crystals into Omega Supreme as they're falling.

O: And Omega's able to take flight, saving both of their afts, with Perceptor hanging on for dear life.

S: Jazz goes in guns blazing to save Talaria, as they duck and cover from the Decepticon fire.

O: Jazz proves to be an excellent shot, too. 

S: Omega and Perceptor arrive in front of the temple.

O: Perceptor looking much worse for wear as he stumbles off from their wild ride.

S: His- Perceptor is just very done with today.

O: He's a scientist, not a- not an adventurer, damnit! 

S: I think a lot of people are very done with today. 

O: Omega punches through the wall and Starscream and Thrust flee.

S: Astrotrain falls down the pit- into the pit of doom, narrowly avoiding the electric lava at the bottom, and then the Cons and Jero meet up in the crystal cave, and realizing they can't fight Omega Supreme, instead decide to blow the crystals up, and fly off with the Decepticons leaving Jero to die.

O: Because, as previously mentioned, Astrotrain is a dick!

S: The volcano explodes or, I don't know, the electric lava explodes-

O: Something-

S: And the aliens are like, “Save- save us and we'll worship you.”

O: Jazz is like, for the thousandth time, “We're not gods,” but they do save the aliens using Omega's tracks.

S: Why didn't they just get in Omega and fly off, it would have been interesting if they just brought everybody to Earth.

O: Uh, the Prime Directive would have been broken?

S: Fair. 

O: The aliens are rebuilding as Perceptor is finally able to fix Cosmos.

S: Well, Cosmos just seems like he got a nap out of all of this.

O: Quite frankly, my poor boy deserves a break. He's got to do all the flying through space except for, periodically, when they grab, you know, Skyfire to do it.

S: Yeah.

O: So something I thought was funny that we found out after we watched the episode: This is actually the first episode- and it took 39 episodes- that Frank Welker does not voice a single character.

S: That's pretty funny.

O: Because, again, he voices like, oh, what? 70% of every single Decepticon and this just happened to be three Decepticons that he does not voice at all! Like, even in the- even in the last episode, he was voicing Rumble. I know Megatron was in there a little, but he was voicing Rumble that entire time, too. So I thought that was hilarious- took 39 episodes for that. But join us next time for: The Core! Megatron wants to journey to the center of the earth and the Autobots engage in a questionable amount of mind control.

S: Yep.

O: And we do have some fanfic for today.

S: So the first fanfic is “From A Distance” by PuraJazzBot, it's from the G1 cartoon continuity and it's rated K. It's gen, there's no pairings, and our lone character is Cosmos. And, in summary, “Being in outer space is not always as exciting as it sounds. Cosmos can personally attest.” And so it's Cosmos in space and it's a one-shot. And I believe you chose our other fic today.

O: Yes it's getting near Halloween so I thought this was appropriate! Our a wild card pick for today is: “Who's The Big Bad Wolf” by LittleMissSweetgrass. It is in the IDW continuity, is G, it is Gen, there are no pairings. Our characters are Verity, Springer, Ultra Magnus, and Minimus Ambus, and in summary: “Verity is trying to get Magnus to wear the costume she worked so hard on,” and it is a one-shot. And they're celebrating Halloween. I know that summary didn't say that but it felt relevant. I'm pretty sure this is going to go up in October- this will definitely go up in October so here's a Halloween fic for you!

S: Nice, that one sounds fun.

O: It's really cute, I like anything with Verity and Minimus in it and, like, quite frankly there's not enough of it. And I- our fan art recommendation for today is: Text from More Than Meets The Eye, which is a Tumblr and it is basically IDW comic edits. It is completely inaccurate text photoshopped into IDW comic panels. 

O: Uh, today is all Ratchet and Megatron. I would apologize for this but, uh, let's face it, we all know I'm not sorry. And these are quite frankly some of my favorite ones, um, which is basically, um, Ratchet is very sure he doesn't give a fuck. Megatron reserves his right to go outside and scream at 2 AM, and, uh, Ratchet hopes that one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from the ass- from his ass. [Ratchet’s] talking about somebody else, not himself, obviously, but, uh, I love this blog. I- I don't think they've been posting recently, which is always a bit sad but- but definitely worth looking into because I laughed so hard at some of these, and they are great!

And, also, if the- especially with Ratchet, if that is not word for word things I think he would actually say in a, you know, um, more profanity ridden, um, circumstance, I don't know what to tell you because I think they're perfect.

S: That was nice, thank you.

O: Again, highly recommend, very funny. I always laugh my butt off.

S: Yeah, it's been a while since I've seen any of those but I do enjoy them too. And that about wraps it up for us today. Remember to check us out on Tumblr or Pillowfort as Afterspark-Podcast for any additional information, show notes, or links we may have mentioned. You can also find us on Facebook and Twitter at AftersparkPod (all one word) and various other locations by searching for Afterspark Podcast such as AO3, iTunes, Spotify, and Youtube, just to name a few. And feel free to send us questions on Tumblr, or Youtube, or AO3! Till next time, I'm Specs.

O: I’m Owls.

S: Toodles.

[Outro Music]

**Author's Note:**

> **Fanfic Recommendations:**
> 
>   * [From A Distance](https://www.fanfiction.net/s/2283333/1/From-A-Distance) by [PuraJazzBot](https://www.fanfiction.net/u/718942/PuraJazzBot)
>   * [Who's the Big Bad Wolf](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16484195) by [LittleMissSweetgrass](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleMissSweetgrass/pseuds/LittleMissSweetgrass)
> 

> 
> **Fanartist Recommendation:** Text From More Than Meets The Eye [@morethanmeetstheeyetext](https://morethanmeetstheeyetext.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Favorite Art:
> 
>   * [Ratchet: 4,715,723%](https://morethanmeetstheeyetext.tumblr.com/post/157280658989)
>   * [Ratchet: Surgery](https://morethanmeetstheeyetext.tumblr.com/post/154164064064)
>   * [Megatron: TRAINWRECK](https://morethanmeetstheeyetext.tumblr.com/post/160774628219)
> 

> 
> **Where to find us:**
> 
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>   * [Facebook](https://www.facebook.com/AftersparkPod)
>   * [Google Play](https://play.google.com/music/listen#/ps/Imo2wtgyxc6dc5ayfomcavnitaa)
>   * [iTunes](https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/afterspark-podcast/id1452120342)
>   * [Pillowfort](https://www.pillowfort.io/Afterspark-Podcast)
>   * [Stitcher](https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/afterspark-podcast?refid=stpr#_=_)
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>   * [Youtube](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCG4cYaXdC4dtgl7a_paS6vg#_=_)
> 

> 
> You can also find us on our personal Tumblrs [@twilight-owl](http://twilight-owl.tumblr.com/) and [@specspectacle](http://specspectacle.tumblr.com/)!


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